Alfred, NY, Dreams, Funny, Personal



My name is Juli and I’m going to tell you a story about the time I was born. So you know it’s my earliest memory that I recall… you know… I was in the womb.  It was a pretty warm comfortable place I would say, I wanted to go back, I didn’t like the cold world.  Then I felt the sensation of being choked and that wasn’t exciting I was like get me out of this place, like where am I it’s dark now?  And then this doctor held me in his arms and you know I really couldn’t tell I couldn’t really see at the time and you know I couldn’t think that clearly I just had the sensations of a doctor.  There’s always men in my life… from the beginning.  And so I was born and I was like what the fuck is the place you know I was freezing there were bright lights and you know it’s a hospital, it’s sterile and what not and disgusting and I didn’t like it.  I wanted to go back to the woman, what happened to the warm comfortable place of my mom’s vagina? you know, what is that stuff? And that’s about it, that’s all I remember about being born.  I don’t think a lot of people embrace it, I think they pretend to know, but don’t.  It’s not like I remember being in the hospital and being in the incubator thing.  You can’t remember every second you lived, you just remember the important details and what they’ve made you today.

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